Aerobica

Let us first consider the essential strangeness of chocolate cigarettes. Designed so kids could play tricks on parents, and at the same time consolidating the coolness of smoking in youngsters minds, these items are of the devil. How many parents, upon seeing their children with a white cylinder between their fore and middle fingers, have clutched at their chest and fallen, stricken by shock, into a deadly heart attack? And how many children who bought chocolate cigarettes end up pack a day smokers? The statistics are right here. Yes, every one of them.

Aerobica has ever more to answer for. It teaches children that as well as it being a good look to smoke, it is also a good look to wear full body leotards and legwarmers. Let’s not even mention the unrealistic body shape that is cemented in the minds of young girls, leading them to serious study of the breast augmentation section of Cosmetic Surgery Magazine.

Aerobica is made in Holland. I have been to Holland, and it was easy to spot the people who grew up on Aerobica. You see them in parks, at street corners, alternating their star jumps with puffs on cigarettes! Shunned by even the tourist guidebooks, these poor creatures are a sad spectacle, a reminder of the evils of chocolate taken to its extreme.

Bree sent this to me from New York. Pray for her immunity from this dangerous candy in the big city.